14 Essential Flirting Tips for Lesbians
There's nothing like having someone flirt with you to boost your self-esteem. Even when you don't feel the same attraction, finding that someone thinks you're interesting and worth the effort can be delightful. It can be subtle or overt, over the top or just under the surface. As long as the flirting is respectful and positive, this part of the human courting dance is (usually) fun. When done properly, flirting helps the electricity build between the two of you in the beginning stages of your relationship and keeps things fun as time passes.
Flirting with another woman can be tricky, though, especially if you're not certain of her sexual orientation. It's an art, really—a two-way form of communication that requires you to be able to read her interest and comfort level before proceeding further.
Some people are natural flirts, but we can all use a little coaching. Here are some tips for flirting:
- Observe how she reacts to your nearness.When you're out together, try to sit near her. Notice if she moves closer or farther away. When you're sitting on a couch and your thighs touch, what does she do? Does she let it stay, or inch away?
- Say it with your eyes.Look her in the eye when you are talking. Hold the stare for a little longer than you would in a normal conversation.
- Go out of your way to be polite. It might sound corny, but open a door for her to walk through.
- Don't underestimate the power of touch. If you're sitting across from each other, gently put your hand on hers. Don't move it away unless she does or if she signals that it's making her uncomfortable.
- Let her know you think she's attractive.Be specific and respectful. Tell her that her blue sweater really highlights the beautiful color of her eyes. Compliment her on the way her hair catches the sunlight.
- Say something that makes her feel seen and heard. Tell her you notice the way she gazes off to the side when she's thinking or smirks a certain way when she's holding back.
- Find out what makes her laugh.Humor goes a long way in cutting the tension and loosening both of you up.
- Offer to get her a drink if you're at a party or bar together. Touch her hand or shoulder when you hand it to her.
- Show her she's not "out of sight, out of mind."Tell her you've been thinking about her.
- Be interested. Call her just to say hi and see what's she's been doing. Ask her how work is going or what she's done lately with a particular hobby.
- Send her a little note. Maybe it says you enjoyed spending time together, or maybe it's just a little "I'm thinking of you." Even better: Something that makes her laugh. An email is OK, but a handwritten note dropped at her door or mailed is more memorable.
- Don't overdo it. You don't want to seem like a stalker. Look for signs that your flirtation is unwanted. Does she get off the phone quickly when you call? Do you send her long flowery emails, only to get one-line answers (or none at all) in return? If so, tone it down and let her come to you if she wants.
- Be respectful.If youdosense she's uncomfortable or doesn't return your affection, back off graciously.
- Most of all, have fun!Enjoy the give and take that happens in flirting.
Video: Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila | TEDxSBU
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