How do I love?
A good half of humanity suffers from unrequited love and actively fights this feeling in all possible ways, while some are sincerely jealous of them, trying to find love. But, as the great Shakespeare said, “Love runs from those who chase after it / And those who run away, throw themselves on the neck ...” Therefore, often such people come to the false conclusion that they are not created for true love or just not capable of it. Is it possible to learn to love, and is it necessary?
Why do you need to love?
When you see a girlfriend unsuccessfully seeking the love of a boyfriend to whom she is indifferent, how a neighbor suffers, who is cheating on her husband, how a fellow student is suffering in the hope of forgetting her ex-girlfriend, doubts arise: does this love in general? And, perhaps, a person in the depths of his soul simply rejoices that he sleeps quietly at night, devoid of such problems.
However, it is not for nothing that they say that it is love that is the basis of everything in the world, and without it, existence does not make sense. And even if today you have stronger nerves and clear thoughts, sooner or later, many will need to have a serious relationship. And they have no future without love and true affection.Even if you have to wait for your beloved in three nights and worry more than ever in your life, you will still be glad that you have it. When you experience a real feeling, you can hardly exchange it for a lonely peaceful sleep.
In addition, who would not agree that a family without love is inferior? After all, children should be fostered by loving parents. It depends on this who the child will grow up and what family he will create, as well as his future attitude towards you. A family where mom and dad love each other, their children and parents - the best role model that a child needs.
It should be noted and more global love - to the world and to people in general. You expect reciprocity from them, you demand recognition and sympathy, but for this you need to experience these feelings yourself. After all, we all need to give love to earn the right to get it.
How to learn love?
It is in vain to constantly ask yourself the question: “How can I fall in love?” And come to the conclusion that you are not capable of this feeling. The ability to love and express our feelings is inherent in us by nature, so everyone has the potential. Some of us simply suppress it for various reasons, while others simply fear strong and new sensations.
Perhaps the best way is “the situation for yourself”: continuously give people what you expect from them. And you expect love from parents and children, relatives, friends and, of course, the second half. Love and affection are not one-way traffic, they require reciprocity, otherwise the relationship is in danger of collapse.
The next step: get rid of the complexes that prevent you from loving. If you are very concerned about the inability to experience these feelings, this is a serious reason to turn to a psychologist. Such a life attitude, most often, is a psychological trauma of childhood, which rarely can be identified on its own. Another reason could be “unsuccessful love” in the past: a person tries so hard not to repeat past mistakes, that he begins to avoid any opportunity to love.
Try to understand that love does not always turn into tragedy and is accompanied by suffering. If you are unlucky once or even several times, this does not mean that without love you will be happy. Do not draw conclusions about new relationships based on old ones. Your experience, of course, will help you avoid past mistakes, but at the same time do not lose faith in people, they are all different.
What love to love?
Naturally, each of us understands this feeling in his own way, giving him a subjective assessment. Even in ancient Greece, love was divided into four main types:
So, Eros is a spontaneous passion-love, which, as a rule, controls a person at the beginning of acquaintance with an object of love. Filia is love-friendship, more inherent in social relations. Storge is a delicate form of love in the family, and agape is considered the highest degree of manifestation of this feeling; it is selfless, unselfish love, such as the love of God towards people.
Undoubtedly, one form of love for a person is very small. But when he realizes the beauty of this feeling, he is able to go through all these stages and find true happiness. Love yourself, your loved ones and the whole world; only then will they answer you the same!