The problem is not far-fetched, but of interest to both men and women, and teenagers. Love is connected in the mind of a person with pleasant experiences, and the suffering that lovers cause each other does not seem so terrible, on the contrary: they are perceived as part of a very exciting game.
Scientists have long ago figured out one unattractive fact: falling in love acts on the human body as a drug. If there is a chemical reaction, then there may be a love affair. The addiction causes strong emotions that accompany love. It is useful to distinguish between love and love. The first is a mature feeling, cynically though it may sound, “man-made”. It is created by people for years. With love, another story:
- It is dominated by sexual motives, not spiritual.
- Perception is distorted, and the life of a person seems happy and meaningful to the obscene.
It is not surprising that people in middle and old age miss their youthful hobbies. In the life of an ordinary citizen is not so much emotion.Strong feelings are in her alone, and therefore there is a love addiction.
Love dependence on a woman or a man. Causes
Every person who has entered the adult stage of development has at least once been captured by love. But how to distinguish a normal strong passion from love addiction, how to recognize a person who is prone to pathological inclinations? Each phenomenon is predetermined by causes, love dependence is no exception.
The dependencies enter unhindered only in severely wounded psyche.
If the biography of a person is rich in such injuries, or he is familiar with at least one of them, then he should think about how to strengthen his psychological defense. It should not be forgotten that scammers use love as a weapon. Such craftsmen are called "marriage swindlers."
Love dependence on a woman or a man is not as harmless as it seems. She hides serious psychological problems of the individual.
Relationship love relationship and its signs
If a person feels that he is “going crazy with love,” it does not prevent him from thinking and analyzing his behavior.In this difficult work should help the signs by which people identify the disease:
- “It is he / she!” The feeling of the kinship of the soul of the beloved, who does not stand the test of time and shows its illusory nature.
- Passionate and rapid development of relations.
- Immense sexual desire and its reinforcing practice.
- Choking sensation when the lover is not around.
- Neglect of other spheres of life and responsibilities (family, friends, work).
- Constant obsessions and fantasies about a joint future.
- All interests converge at the point of relationship with this person.
We will interrupt and say that the 7 items presented above are rightfully treated both as love addiction and for innocuous love. The most interesting and exciting happens when the time comes for the first quarrels. New list of "alarm calls":
- Suffering as a dominant state (even when the object of "love" is near)
- The partner refuses to meet, but the dependent insists.
- If the partner's heat cools, the victim is tormented by fears and dark fantasies. She feels her endless loneliness.
- If there is a negative dynamic of relations, and the partner has already realized his power over the victim, he remains in the relationship “by contract”, setting conditions.
- When the relationship is renewed "on a contract basis", their circle closes and the pair returns to quarrels.
- In a pinch, after the final break, the addict pursues the former partner.
This is such an insidious thing - love dependence in relationships, and it grows out of a fiery love flower.
The hero of the series "Californication" did not consider himself ill, but nevertheless he suffered from addiction to sex with women. To get rid of something, a person needs to clearly imagine what is wrong with him, what is his diagnosis. Therefore, it is important to distinguish between the obsessive change of sexual partners and love addiction.
- Sex is the main goal / tool that supports psychological needs.
- Over-scale egoism / obsession, unnatural altruism.
- Every day a new partner / fixation on a specific person.
Why are these two confusing? At least three causes of them are the same:
Now pay attention to the writer Hank Moody. He continually suffers, drinks and pities himself. He is tormented by a creative crisis. Women need him as an analgesic to endure the surrounding reality. The immoral behavior of "cine Charles Bukowski" pushes the loss of a family and the inability to work - to write books. Hank Moody, judging by these characteristics, is a complete sexaholic.
For him, there is no question of how to get rid of love affair with a woman, since he has a lot of them. Despite the bright feelings for his ex-wife, there are suspicions that Hank loves only himself and his suffering. He is a psychological masochist.
How to overcome love addiction teenager?
When an adult suffers a love addiction - this is sad, but if yesterday’s teenage child gets into her paws, then everything can end in tragedy. Psychologists write people from 12 to 17 years at risk when it comes to pathological relationships. There are reasons for this:
- Lack of life experience.
- High level of sexual desire and need for understanding and acceptance (love).
- Monolithic and functioning in the minds of children's ideals.
These factors make a teenager easy prey not only for love addiction, but also for other personality-destroying habits (smoking, alcohol).
The consequences of lack of will in adolescence are unpredictable. A person who has succumbed to the temptation is capable of unrecognizable change the face of his fate, and so never straighten its curvature.
Therefore, a natural question arises, how to overcome love dependence in this case? This problem is not so much a teenager as his parents. The closest ancestors should:
- Gently ask the child about his experiences, openly discuss them, avoiding jokes and ridicule. The last hurts the young lover.
- A child with a light parental hand should pay attention to other areas of life, thereby distract from suffering.
- Surround with care and affection.
An important condition: no restrictions. You can not forbid a person to meet with the object of love, as this will increase the passion and strengthen the dependence. Remember, there is always the likelihood that passion will burn through a day or two, a week, a month, and the resentment of parents will remain forever. But in any case, as the classic said: “Experience is the son of difficult mistakes”.
How to get rid of love addiction to a man?
It is encouraging that a person asks this question. Awareness of the problem is already 50% of its solution. If we are talking about a woman completely independent and adult, then in her arsenal the following means of salvation:
- Analysis of feelings and emotions.
- Discovering the strengths and weaknesses of your personality.
- Self-improvement - working on strengths and weaknesses.
- Switching attention - focusing on other areas of life (work, study, care for parents and relatives, pets)
- Discussion of your condition with friends or a psychologist.
If a person wonders how to get rid of love addiction to a man, this “love” oppresses him, and therefore, to turn into a maniac pursuing his victim, his chances are not very high - this is encouraging.
The method of analyzing the emotional state is effective, because negative, destructive experiences are not welcome when they are analyzed, because they lose their power over the person. In addition, there is always a chance that a man will change a woman and her “addiction” will end. Women can not stand treason.
Love addiction treatment exists?
The answer is yes. But in the treatment of addiction, the main thing is the desire of a person to find a lost spiritual harmony. If there is no desire, then relatives, relatives and friends spend time in vain.
True, this is characteristic of alcohol or drug addiction, while in love it is a psychological nature, not chemical. True, scientists have found: the substances that the body produces during love, can actually be addictive. But they are still not enough for the emergence of full chemical dependence.
Who needs to go to a psychotherapist? Someone who was not helped by previous recommendations or someone who cannot independently analyze who needs another person - a psychologist as in a mirror reflecting his problems. What the psychotherapist will do:
- Manage the experience of man.
- Will make a "inventory" of advantages and disadvantages in the most delicate form.
- Detect and extract spiritual "splinter".
- Shows ways out of the situation.
In this way, there is only one serious hitch: a person comes to a psychologist, having already realized that he needs help.This may be a vague feeling, but the request must be formed at least in an implicit form. If a trip to a psychologist is a way to attract attention, the procedure will not bring results.
How to get rid of love addiction with the help of sports?
If the therapist or psychologist is powerless, then the person has the “last bullet” - sport. Nowadays, a healthy lifestyle as an ideology is popular, but in the case of love dependence, it is not a goal, but only a means. A person through physical stress and effort comes out of the prison of his own negative and obsessive emotions to the harmony of spiritual balance and self-sufficiency.
If you train the body to exhaustion, the soul will stop crying and forget about their sorrows. History obligingly provides evidence - biographies of great athletes.
When asked how to get rid of love addiction, there is also an “active answer”. When a person is busy with the architecture of his own body, then the dark energy turns into an aggressive physical effort and goes away.
How to get rid of love addiction best?
There is no universal answer to this question.Exercise is like one person as therapy, having gained the joy of sports victories, finds what he has been looking for. Another person needs a psychologist to talk to him and put all the dots on “Y”, the third one can cope with it himself, he is used to independence, and also to know the world through books. There is a fourth way: the madness of love will pass by itself, and the sun will again look out from behind the clouds, and the person will get out of the emotional pit, come to his senses and start walking further along the road of life.
Dale Carnegie taught: the cheapest remedy for neurosis is to work.
Everyone chooses himself how to get rid of love addiction, according to taste preferences and character traits. There are no universal recipes in the world and two identical destinies, they have not yet invented a panacea either medical or psychological, which means: a person is free, and he is the master of his own life. Pain and suffering are terrible, but they help to understand the limits of one’s own abilities and gain courage and desire to live.