How much is said, sung and written about unrequited love, not count. Everyone knows about her, she inspires people to creativity and deeds. But few people are eager to experience this difficult feeling.
How to explain that a person madly loves someone for whom he does not represent the slightest interest? What makes a lover suffer from heartache and the consciousness of his own uselessness? Interests did not agree, and there was no chemical reaction, nothing else happened. But, is everything so simple and clear?
People are different and they treat their experiences differently. There are individuals who are able to force themselves to “let go” of the beloved from themselves and live on. But there are those who are hard at experiencing undivided feelings, put up a cross in further relationships, and fall into depression. It is difficult for these people to prove that life in this incident has not ended and there is still a long time to meet someone who will love you. It is terrible attitude to life that some of these people reach suicide. This is especially true of miserable youth in love.
Owner or miserable lover?
Have you ever seen a child who requires a toy because it is the only one that deserves his attention? Let him have such a house, but he needs it and no one else. And, the more parents prohibit, the more hysteria flares up.
Owners are like children. They can hardly explain what attracted him to the object of his “adoration”, but they torture themselves and others, considering it as undivided love. Proving himself and others that he is worthy of this love, a person can do a lot of mischief.
Girls - girls.
It is difficult for a young soul to understand that love is a strong feeling that needs to be experienced, looking at the TV screen, to feel it is very difficult.
The girls themselves cultivate a program of misfortunes and misfortunes. If at school she was an ugly duckling who could only learn, the boys did not pay attention to her. At the institute, the guys do not look at her because she is accustomed to the role of the second plan and no longer hopes for true love. As a rule, this girl is in love with a notorious bully in the classroom. Of course, a boy who is used to the admiring glances of his classmates is unlikely to look at a simple shy girl.The girl makes a conclusion for herself - I am not one of those who can be loved.
Love causes suffering. But for some, this feeling becomes a punishment. A person loses the boundaries of reality, pursuing the object of his passion. Everything in the world fades away, only HE remains! For a girl, this situation is disastrous. Men do not like when everything is decided for them, and even more so when they are being hunted. So, there are three ways to understand how fanatical you are in your feelings:
- Despite all the resistance of the object of love, you are sure that it is your property, this is a bad sign! Even if you are married, your partner will never become your property;
- If a person is ready for anything, just to be close to his beloved, it makes the guard. Acting with the help of intrigues and treachery, no one has ever been able to achieve recognition and love. Having deceived the one who does not love you, you doom yourself to eternal torment in marriage. After all, if not loved, then never love. There were no such cases in the history of mankind. Now you are doomed forever to run after him, to seek out infinite mistresses, to lie and dodge.And is your undivided feeling of spoiling your life?
- You no longer meet with friends, do not flirt with guys, and do not attend noisy parties? Why? Are your thoughts busy with unrequited love of a man? Previously, you were interested in friends, walks and trips to the theater, but now there is one emptiness in the heart, in the center of which is “His Majesty the ideal of love”! Do not drive yourself into this trap. Caught by loneliness, a person can not become happy. Denying himself, the people and the outside world, a person lives "in the name of his master." Do not make an idol of someone to whom you have serious feelings. He is an ordinary person, like you and your friends, only his heart chose him, and nothing can be done with these.
How to survive unrequited love
Many of those who suffered from unrequited love, are confident that over the years the feeling does not pass without a trace. Suddenly, it emerges from the "nooks" of memory and flashes with the same force. You can have a close family, children, beloved husband. But unrequited love, again and again, hurts the influx of feelings. So what does unrequited love consist of and how to help yourself get rid of this feeling.
Find a priority
Man is an animal, albeit with a developed intellect and a high level of social activity, but this is a being that can not live without food. If you are hungry, you cannot think of anything else. What will help in this case? There are two answers:
- you satisfy hunger - you eat;
- the dominant is changing (priority direction of thoughts, actions, events, desires). You are informed that you won a million! It is doubtful that you will continue to dream of a sandwich in the light of recent events. Most likely, forget what you just were hungry.
So in unrequited love. Your dominant should change. After all, the purpose of love is to be with an adored person. But unrequited love is unable to give this pleasure. Therefore, a person must change the goal - to find mutual love with another person. It is difficult to understand and realize this, but it is necessary for further emotional balance. Look around, maybe the one who will save you is near, and you just pay attention to him.
However, as it was said before, every time you meet a person who has not shared feelings with you, it will be very painful for you.Not because you do not respond to your feelings, to love you, but because the forgotten sensations rush in and your chest aches again.
Make yourself forget
You did not find a response in a strange heart, your sufferings and experiences are not needed? Break ties and forbid yourself to even think about a loved one.
An assistant in this will be time. Everything flows, everything changes. Maybe, while you are wallowing in your experiences, trying to forget the object of lust, you will meet that person who is ready to respond to you in return. After some time (at least a year), you look at the one who was so loved from another point of view. His appearance will not be so perfect for you, in a manner of speaking something unpleasant may appear, or your walk will seem strange. From the unrequited love of a girl or a boy, you have moved to the stage when “eyes open” and a person begins to live with the mind, not with emotions. That's right, people say that love puts on a person "rose-colored glasses." We tend to idealize everything in a love object — beauty, charm, intelligence, style of movement, and the rest. But people are not perfect, and it turns out that we are in love with our own fantasies.And then for years we torture ourselves for having missed the limit of dreams, the best person in the world. Believe me, the man was the most ordinary! And the fact that you imagined yourself is another question.
A year after the failure on the love front, you definitely need to see this man. You will immediately realize that everything that they have invented themselves about him, you love and remember. In fact - this is the usual guy or girl who walks around you every day thousands.
Distract yourself as an interesting activity.
You do not like the answer? This is bad, but not always! Turn the situation to the other side. Forcibly you will not be lovable, but you can make an object of love admire you.
Long been going to work on your figure? Do you think that there is a lot of fat on the sides, and the legs are not so slender? Head to the fitness center. This will help you to take your thoughts and time important business.
Prove to your beloved man that you are not a “chicken”, unlearn the rights and buy yourself a beautiful car.
Learn a foreign language. Any! Let the Chinese, but you must know it perfectly.
Choose from your girlfriends the most desperate woman of fashion and ask her for help.Go to the stores together and choose a new wardrobe. Believe me, the occupation is extremely exciting. Especially if there is a person who can help you with the choice.
Take care of your appearance. Go to the spa, to the beautician. Tidy your skin and hair, listen to recommendations for proper care. Follow the advice of experts in beauty always and you will be surrounded by crowds of fans.
Go on a trip. Not necessarily on a cruise ship for crazy money. In travel agencies there are interesting travel offers in Russia and neighboring countries at an affordable price. Take a trip to the grandmother in the village, feel the boundless love for you of a man who really knows you. After all, it is a balm for your wounded soul.
Perhaps all is not lost, and the object of your love will pay attention to you. If not, now you are stronger. You have new interests, you are surrounded by other people and you have something to do, in addition to love experiences.
Love is an eternal theme for creativity. Artists, poets, writers celebrate this vivid feeling in their works.About unrequited love is written much more than about mutual. This feeling makes it necessary to take up pen and brush even those who never did it. A person with creative talent can pass on his feelings through paper, give himself an opportunity to have them again, and take a step closer to "recovery". What's stopping you? Take a pen in your hand and place a blank piece of paper in front of you. The thought will come itself, the main thing is to have time to write. No one requires a masterpiece from you. This manuscript may not see the light. Do it for yourself.